Hi! Welcome to my blog! I’m so excited that you stopped by familyremixed.com! As you probably have seen from my title I am an adopted, biracial girl with a mixed race family. By mixed-race I mean, I’m brown and the rest of my family is white. AAAAAALLL White. And I love them tremendously. I also have two older brothers who are white and adopted.
*See photo to the right. I’m the super cute brown one on the right in the AWESOME crushed velvet blouse! (Really mom!? Sigh… Might as well get the most awkward part out of the way first.)
And while we couldn’t be more different, we have a deeply rooted love for each other that would take the universe exploding to break it.
That’s why I’m calling my blog familyremixed! I think it’s time to redefine what makes a family, a family!
I felt moved to start this blog because I have met an increasingly larger amount of adoption families. Many of mixed-race backgrounds or “trans-racial”(a term that sounds way too institutional to me) and some not.
I’ve met parents (most by random happenstance) who upon discovering that I was adopted, or biracial, (or both) would gush out countless questions that seem to have been bottled up- almost to the point of explosion.
“I’m not sure if I’m supporting my child enough. My daughter and I are really butting heads, is it a phase?”
” I haven’t told them yet that they’re adopted. The rest of the family knows, but I don’t want it to change our relationship or for my kids to feel different….”
“I have no clue what to do with my daughter’s hair! Any suggestions?”
If you have ever had these questions, this blog is for you.
If you can relate on any level to the following pictures, this blog is for you!
Maybe your family looks like this:
This family is not only interracial but also of inter-faith.
photo credit: squirrel gets in shot via photopin (license)
Or this:
Or even this:
photo credit: DSC01832 via photopin (license)
I always feel honored that someone feels comfortable enough to share their private thoughts about the people they care about most. It’s like they’re sharing a piece of their heart with me. It’s important to have the courage to ask the necessary questions for the sake of your child(ren). So I humbly and gladly share my personal experiences. I love to give them encouragement and remind them that, “Love is the most important thing.” And really some challenges are simply because teenagers are weird and hormonal.
On the other hand, I’ve also met parents of bi-racial or adopted children who I so desperately wish would ask me about my experiences or invite me to share with them, but they don’t ask me anything. Almost as if they have their kids figured out (yeah right!) or that they assume their child doesn’t need special support. INCORRECT!
I’m definitely not a trained medical professional. However, as you probably already know, there are things kids think about that they don’t tell their parents. A lot of things! Even more so, for those of us who are adopted or ever felt “different”. But these are concerns that they should share with someone! And it can help when that someone can relate to what they’re feeling. I know my parents connected me immediately with my “sister”, Courtney, the moment they found out that she was a biracial girl, adopted by a white family in our town too. Both of us had to figure out how to navigate a very small town society. The kind of place where even by 16 years old, I still had only encountered 10, eh, 15 other kids who weren’t white… So yeah… third-party friends and mentors who can relate to your situation are crucial as a young person.
Basically, it gives the affirmation that “I’m normal and I’m gonna be alright”. Regardless of how different you may look from those around you (even family).
Nonetheless, this is a space where I hope I can give helpful insight from my personal experiences and increase dialogue about a growing demographic. Again, it’s very important to underscore that I’m not a trained psychologist or a licensed professional. This blog is simply my personal perspective on issues I feel are important to adoption and/or mixed or blended race families.
My hope is to help kids and parents with:
“How do I talk to my kid about this?”
” What the heck are my kids thinking/doing? “
“Am I being overprotective?”
I also plan to identify the sometimes awkward, yet often necessary conversations. I will pull from and reference professional/medical advice as appropriate.
My hope is that many will find this blog helpful and supportive. And that a community can be created of shared experiences.
Thanks again for stopping by.
Please remember to subscribe! And please don’t hesitate to share your questions, concerns and successes!
Finally, share this blog with friends and family who you feel would benefit from this obviously special online community of even more special people!
This has been a VERY good day for me.