Dear David, Dylan, and future unborn siblings. (To be read by you each on your 13th birthday)
It is with extreme gratitude to God, and homage to generations of Dobson Men before me, that I share a few words about how being your Father has transformed me. The first thing you should know is that you complete a picture I have had in my mind’s eye since adolescence, and you are intentional gifts from God to your mother, Elizabeth, and I.
You should also know that God, your mother, and I planned for you, which means that you are already destined to accomplish far greater success than we could ever dream of. You see, my existence was the combination of my birth mother being a bi-polar schizophrenic with no knowledge of my biological father and her younger brother, a Dobson man named Samuel Douglass Dobson, Jr, stepping up to the plate to fill his role when he adopted me. You know him as Granddaddy Dobson, and our trips throughout your lifetime to Florida while give you insight into where we come from. Your mother shares a similar history, she was adopted at birth after her birth mom became unexpectedly pregnant in college. What this shows us about God is that as your parents, no humans were intentional about our existence- but He was! If He can do great works through us who weren’t planned for, imagine what more He can do through you all who we have prepared for our entire collective lives. Let His light shine through always! Said another way,
Psalms 139; 13-14
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..”
Always remember that God designed you for greatness, pursue greatness accordingly.
As you will see in the examples of your parents and grandparents, work ethic will be a key to your success. My father worked two jobs for over 30 years to care for me and your aunts. Your Grandma Perry was a guidance counselor in Pennsylvania and instilled academic excellence in your Mother and your Uncles. These people instilled both mental toughness and academic achievement into their children and we in turn will do the same for you. You may not always be blessed with the most physical talent or intellect in situations that present themselves to you- but you can always outwork the competition. We made you get up early to do chores and attend the practices, rehearsals, and competitions so that you would never become complacent. I hope that later in life you will appreciate the way we raised you to not fear getting dirty or pushing through mental fatigue for your academic success. Make no mistake- this was by design and it is expected. You must be prepared for a world that may not give you a seat at the table based on the path you decide to take in life. Our prayer is that you are prepared to seize, control, and create a seat at the table – or ultimately create a new table altogether – to redefine success for your family and our future generations to come.
I must to take a moment to address a few facts about you that don’t have to define your reality, but it’s important that we acknowledge: you are the products of a mixed-raced family and society will try to pre-judge you as such. Let me elaborate, I am 100% African-American and I was born into a south Florida housing project before adoption moved my surroundings to the Palm Beach suburbs during my adolescence. Your mother is 50% white and 50% unknown, (we assume African-American or Hispanic) and she was raised in suburban Pennsylvania. This composition makes you 75% non-white and 25% white. It’s important you understand this because society will either lump you into the category of “black” or “mixed/ethnically ambiguous” and while these are facts of your genetic make-up, they don’t define you culturally or individually. America has created a system of inequality based on race since its founding. Native Americans were killed, raped, and displaced for this country to be founded by white men. Black men and women were captured, sold, tortured, and striped of their identity and dignity during 200 years of slavery followed by 70 years of intentional judicial, educational, and economical disadvantages being imposed upon people who look like us. We have spent the majority of your childhood trying to expose you to these truths so that you are aware of how others may be perceive you, and prepare you for the best ways to redefine that perception. We have also shown you countless examples of minorities and women who have accomplished great advancements in academia, commerce, athletics, humanities, entertainment, politics and other realms of human endeavor to ensure you can identify with the possibilities of greatness people who look like you have achieved. Do not allow people action’s towards you to determine your life’s trajectory. Not all white people are racist, you have seen this your entire life as half your family is white. Not all minorities are disadvantaged. You are, statistically and literally, the future of the world. As mixed race children become more prevalent globally, so does your need to define your own identity. You are not just black, you are not just white, you have both in your DNA and you must allow your success in all areas of your life to define your greatness-not the hue of your skin. I have spent the better part of my life leveraging a platform to shed light on and try to balance these inequalities in our country and abroad. I hope that one day you realize my efforts are primarily for you my children, and your generation.
In closing, your mother and I will die being known by many titles- but “Mommy and Daddy” are the ones we lived for. We are performers, authors, entrepreneurs, speakers, former Division I athletes, fundraisers, activists, educators, evangelists- but most importantly we were blessed by God through you with the title of “Parents”. As your Father specifically, my goal is not for you to always like me or my ways. I am focused on ensuring that you have every provision I can possibly secure to allow you to be successful. I may have to discipline you mildly as you grow, so that an unjust judicial or prison system doesn’t do so much harshly later. I will constantly remind you that you can achieve anything you work hard and put your mind to. Above all, I will remind you that God has plans for you to be positive change agents for the world. As stated in His holy word: Jeremiah 29: 11 “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Operate with this confidence daily. You will not be great because you are our children or have earned it, you will because God’s light shines through you. Stay humble, work hard, defy stereotypes, redefine boundaries, and create ideas that change the world. I look forward to being your fiercest advocate along the way. I love you more than I can ever fully express. Thank you for allowing me to experience an aspect of life my biological father never did, seeing an improved version of myself in you all every day of your existence. My lasting directive to you: pursue greatness daily while embodying patience and humility-always. Blessings abound to you my children!
Your loving father,
Devin T. Dobson
Daddy
This is beautifully expressed.
It is crucial that these amazing children be well educated about the challenges in life. They will face special circumstances because of their mixed race background.
It is my hope and prayer that Americans will learn to accept change and differences in each other.